Something Personal

I don't hate you. If I hate you, that means I actually think of you. I don't think of you. You said we're done, then we're done. Live with it.

Some three years ago I met someone and those were the very words that closed our relationship. While I am a very extrovert person (normally), a lot of my friends don't know plenty of details in my life. Like those words I am sharing now. Each time I inspect my old SIM card, I see that message and I feel humiliated 100 times over and I had the unfortunate incident of actually inspecting that SIM card awhile ago. I don't know why I even keep it. Probably because it was one of the happiest realtionships I've ever had. Probably because the words were so well-written, conveying just enough hate without actual admission, it merits keeping. Probably because of all my pleasant attributes, it is my naivete that makes most of my decisions. Or maybe because I am too lazy.

It still pinches me bad, those words. I probably deserve them. I probably don't. And now that I documented them, I can throw the SIM card away, and I actually did. For all that it's worth, that relationship taught me a lot. But lessons are only good as they are in practice, and if there's anything I am taking from all that has happened, it definitely is not the lesson I learned. It is most likely coping up. For life is not promising to be satisfying through its full length, coping up is our only chance of survival--or enjoyment. Life is fun, but sometimes it is otherwise and for all the otherwises happening in your life, we can always rely on chocolates, friends, alcohol, and therapists to manage.

So cheers to those who are coping up and are on their way back to healthy happiness.

I don't think I would ever forget your face. In fact, I don't think I plan to. Haha! When will I see you again? Please say soon. xoxo