Finally, after today, it is over! Metro Manila Film Festival's monopoly of local cinemas is finally no more. And quite nicely, our first foreign film for January is none other than Ang Lee's Life of Pi contrast this with last year's The Devil Inside. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Filipino film, but not the sad sort shown every MMFF and was this previous film fest a punishment, with Thy Womb not even measuring up in my opinion. In earnest hope that next year some brilliant young director (or returning veteran director) will bring at least 1 sensible entry into the filmfest that respects our intelligence as consumers, let's look at the different type of movies shown every MMFF since the late 90s to present.
The Barrel Bottom Scraper
examples: Enteng Kabisote / Okay Ka Fairy Ko franchise, Tanging Ina franchise, Mano Po franchise, Shake Rattle and Roll
Once upon a time, some director managed to make a hit of a movieof genuine charm. Since it broke box office records, the studio thought to make a sequel. And show it on the MMFF. But since there isn't any more story that can be made of the material, the upcoming film now banks on its prequel(s)'s box-office to get buzz and revenue. And surely it would. But people would be so appalled by what they saw that next year, since it earned big bucks, the studio will produce a sequel and the people who detested it will watch it again anyway, in case it gets better, or just because, continuing a vicious cycle of feeding crap and the studio scraping the bottom of the barrel of a tired franchise in need of retirement.
The History Class
examples: El Presidente, Jose Rizal, Rizal sa Dapitan
It perhaps started with 1997's Rizal sa Dapitan then soon followed by the much lauded Cesar Montano vehicle Jose Rizal. It was a legitimate excuse of an entry. After all, an exposition of culture and history is more acceptable than a melodrama. Soon enough, they became a staple on our film fest, continuously proving that we don't want to take risks into creating a period drama about the common man during the Spanish colonization era. But we could. We just don't think we should because who'd like to see that? Personally, I think a lesbian / gay love affair between a slave and an educated mestizo would be an interesting film because we don't have any idea how homosexuality is treated during then. My Catholic School history textbooks didn't acknowledgment that homosexuality exists even in Rizal's Days. Or how about a brother-sister attempt to rescue their father arrested for charges of treason using their innocence and charm, but ultimately ends up with one of them killed and the other decapitated, left to wander the streets of Manila, ultimately inspiring a young Rizal (not revealed to the audience) to write against the Spanish.
The Family Affair
examples: Tanging Yaman, Dekada 70, Filipinas, Mano Po 1
Tanging Yaman was actually a good film, though I was like 4 when I saw it. Nevertheless, it was top-billed by great performances from Gloria Romero playing an ailing mother to two irreconcilable sons, Manzano and Delgado. The confrontation scene where Manzano promises that he'd leave not a single centavo to Delgado's name is perhaps one of early 2000s cinema's most memorable scenes. That was 12 years ago. Things have gone bad since then. Delgado has succumbed to cancer, Romero has modeled for Ricky Reyes, and Manzano ran for VP and had humble pie for dinner, now living on a career on TV game shows. What followed after Tanging Yaman's strong influence was a slew of cheesy family dramas that ape it. The tepid Dekada 70 and Filipinas, attempted but to no avail and soon we had the Mano Po 1, starting a another Bottom Barrel Scraping franchise for Regal Films. Family Affairs are either hit or miss, but mostly miss, with nothing but melodrama to buoy it along and an ensemble cast that struggle with poor material. I daresay, the fabled Oro Plata Mata was a Family Affair in a way Dekada 70 was not.
The Star Cinerma Cash Cow
examples: Dalaw, One More Try, I Love You Goodbye,
A prominent and imposing studio in Filipino film industry, Star Cinema once delivered sensible films to the filmfest, but having suffered setbacks in their attempts in Dekada 70 and Bagong Buwan, films that failed to top the MMFF, they have since played it safe with formulaic melodramas or horror films or the Tanging Ina franchise. As per practice, a Star Cinema Cash Cow competes with another Star Cinema movie that is less advertised in their commercial breaks. By theory, a Star Cinema Cash Cow is less crappy than a Regal Film cash cow, but is almost always formulaic, safe, and sappy.
The CGI Mess aka A Bong Revilla Movie
examples: Bong Revilla films
Bong Revilla Sr. was decidedly Nardong Putik. Unfortunately for Jr here, he had yet to find out what he wants to become when he grows up. He has tried his hand at being Panday twice, then he became a robot maker from recycled junk in Resiklo, then he's Exodus, then he's now with Enteng and Juday. But if there's anything we can be sure of, it's that Bong's assumed identity is one to wear a sleeveless outfit revealing enough to highlight his thick arms but conservative enough to hide his man-boobs and flabs. And another, when there's a Bong Revilla film, trust his Imus Productions to color his film rife with poor CGI and a story written by an 8-year old kid. While we wait for Senator Bong Revilla to find his iconic identity, we would have to suffice with these CGI messes he is so proud of. Ladies and Gentlemen, Manila's Michael Bay, sadly.
The Tardy Horror Film
examples: Kris Aquino films (her acting alone is scary)--Segunda Mano, Dalaw, The Strangers, Sigaw
I have some reservations classifying Shake Rattle and Roll because more often than not, those movies are more of a comedy and a slap on our faces. Surprisingly, we are faced by these films, too late for Halloween, scaring us at Christmas Day. Almost always, these horror films do not intend to win any award. They are the most straight-forward and honest of the film fest entries. They are there for lovers who wants to chance a hug from their frightened mate. They are the most honest in a sense that they are only competing for money and not for awards and are the first to acknowledge that the MMFF is a money-making machine.
The Retirementville Special
examples: FPJ films, Dolphy films
When Dolphy was dying, people were saying all good things about the man and how he is an icon industry and how he made great comedy films. But in the not-too-distant past, Dolphy made several worn out comedy films like Home Along Da River, Nobody Nobody but Juan, and Father Jejemon, films that earned him tongue-lashing from not so forgiving critics. Prior to that, who could forget FPJ's attempts at Alamat ng Lawin, which was basically Panday that grew old and wanted to bond with kids. Today's Barrel Bottom scraper masterminds would soon find themselves taking up the shoes of Retirementville veterans.
The Pacquiao / Jinggoy / Currently Famous Person Vehicle aka the Oddball that No One Watches
examples: Wapakman, Panday (with a motherfucking shotgun)
If you remember that time when Pacquiao wore Spandex and acted to horrible script then I know how that feels, bro. Apparently, it is worth the cinema time. Almost always no one watches these films but their relatives and are the lowest of low in filmmaking, exploiting the starpower, if any, of the top-billed star in the movie.
The Rare Gem That No One Remembers
examples: Panaghoy sa Suba, Crying Ladies, Bridal Shower, Markova, RPG: Metanoia, Tanging Yaman
Color me weird by citing the above movies, but most of those were actually watchable movies. Panaghoy sa Suba was a brave attempt, using primarily Bisaya as its language and is composed with picturesque imagery. Crying Ladies was a great directorial feature by then-new Mark Meily, featuring a Sharon Cuneta casting off her leading lady image, opting for a more mature and motherly role that made the audience laugh and cry. Bridal Shower is a movie that made Alfred Vargas a name--his stripper paired with Cherry Pie's insecure aging single woman was the best part of it, making the movie work. It was a charming comedy that worked and was possibly Seiko Films' last good film. Markova featured Dolphy in probably his most heart-breaking role as an ageing gay man who was forced by Jap soldiers into sex work. The Gil Portes film featured fully fleshed out characters and great performances by Dolphy and sons. And yes, for some weird reason, my mom took me to watch this film with her, of all her sons. 2010's RPG: Metanoia was a breath of fresh and was, fortunately, not just a Star Cinema Cash Cow, it was a charming, heart-warming affair and a step forward in Filipino 3D animation. And lastly, Tanging Yaman, for the reasons I've stated in the previous number.
Sadly, as the sappy or poorly produced films keep raking in, we would be out of rare gems year in and year out and suffer the same sort of tosh the film fest delivers. But here's to hoping.
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